Monday, November 21, 2005

OMG An Upsetting Incident!

I am really hating football lately. The guys on the team keep picking on me now that they know who I really am. On Friday, two of the guys in the locker room were molesting me, and teasing me about how I am a gay sissy and should be the Waterboy instead. I *would* quit the team, but playing football makes me feel like a real man and it helps me cover up the fact that I am truly gay (I first found out I was gay when I fell in love with the King of Pop. You can see me hanging on him and drooling over him on the Bashir Doc.). But anyway, the guys on the team made me cry with their comments, and I was so upset that I told them I would be taking them to court for Molestation, but then they locked me the locker room all alone. It was so scary because they hid all the clocks and I wasn't allowed to know the time of day. Plus, they had gone to my gym locker and stolen my porn mags and stash of vodka. I was sooo angry! When I finally managed to escape, I went crying to my Mommy. She could see that I was traumatized by the incident, and when I told her that I was not allowed to know the time of day, she had a memory lapse and remembered the time we were forced to stay at Neverland against our will and all the 100ft tall clocks were missing. =( She started freaking out and panicking. She threw herself on the floor and began calling my teammates "The Devil", and she was flailing her arms in the air, gasping for breath, and eventually went into convulsions. It was so scary, I started to panic myself so I went and got my 450-pound brother, Star, to help. I had him sit on Momma's stomach and she finally began to breathe again after the wind was forced back into her trachea. Oh my God it was just the worst day ever. I am taking those b*stard teammates of mine to court...(note to self: Acting Class on Tuesday...must practice and prepare for my testilying).


Blogger star said...

jesus anton get it right, its 449 pounds. I have been working out ya know, you just act like all those hours at the gym go to waste. Just cos we can't all be star football players like you!

7:45 AM  
Blogger star said...

oh by the way, if you have a free few hours tonight, could you help me pluck out mama's hairs that embedded themselves into my butt?
thanks bro

7:56 AM  
Blogger scalesofjustice said...

oh man, don't tell me Gavin-er Anton-that is his latest name right?, has started liking GIRLS?! *gasp* What is it you said Anton? Someone get me those court transcripts. I remember Gavin-er ANton-excuse me, saying that he was 'confused' about his sexuality at one point. Hmmmmmmmmmmm, no wonder Michael Jackson gave him that 'What the FUCK?!" look when Gavin-aka Anton-I wish Michael really had molested me-Arvizo, now Jackson, laid his head on Mike's shoulder. I mean...eeeeeeeeeewwwwwww.

8:16 PM  
Blogger Truthis2 said...

Yeah he was so mixed up that he forgot to be mad at his molester for molesting him. But, he was so pissed about his molester not paying him any attention that he almost cried on the stand.

9:23 PM  
Blogger Haku said...


4:17 AM  

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