Monday, November 21, 2005

Squee! It's almost X-mas!

While on my Thanksgiving break, I am quickly becoming bored because my family and I haven't scammed any innocent families lately. Sooo, in the midst of my unbearable boredom, I decided to write up my Christmas List for this year. Below is what I want, and below that is a list of what I'm getting my wonderful, amazing family that I am so proud to be a part of:

-Jay Leno's Most Memorable Moments on DVD. (I don't know if they have this out, but I really, really want a collection of my #1 idol's most memorable shows. He is so funny, my biggest inspiration. We joked a lot during the trial. We communicated telepathically (I learned how to do that while I was locked up in Neverland and not allowed to contact my mother), and Jay communicated to me that Judge Melville looked a lot like his mother, and I told him that we should get together for some Jesus Juice after court was over.
-A 5-subject notebook (to keep a record of all my alias names)
-A deadbolt lock (to keep my fat brother out of my gay porn stash AND my secret snack stash in my room.)
-New bedsheets (because I keep having wet dreams about MJ; GOD that man is hott!)

What I'm getting for....

Ma: Quadruple-blade Schick Razors, a new jacket to pull up over her face at her next trial, and birth control pills so she'll stop popping out babies. I'm starting to envy Jett because he gets all the attention now that I didn't win Ma $200,000,000 from Michael Jackson. She's using JETT now to con money out of people.

Star: A trip to see Jenny Craig, a therapy session with Dr. Phil to analyze his issue with kitchen knives, and plastic surgery so he won't look like a constipated rat anymore. Because Star spelled backwards DOES spell Rats...

Davellin: I'm getting her her OWN live-in chef that she can screw instead of Angel.

Eee I am just so excited that it's almost Christmas. I know God must be SO proud of me. I have been SUCH a good boy this year. I have told the truth and lived my life by the Bible all my life and I DESERVE everything that I want! And I don't get it, I will accuse God ANDDDD Santa of Conspiracy! >:O


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